I have a healthy appetite. I have as long as I can remember. I was never one of those girls who barely ate; I would ask for extra tortillas for my fajitas on a first date (true story). I also love carbs. Perhaps this is why I muscle train so hard. Lately however, I feel like I may have gained more bulk than lean muscle, which is the look I was going for, so I was re-evaluating my workouts.

When this quarantine hit and the gym closed, I was exasperated. I was worried how I would stay fit (ish) at home when I was with my family all day every day. Here’s the thing about most dogs and all kids: they have radar. I put my daughter down for a nap, she seems to be asleep. I go downstairs to put on an exercise DVD and BAM! She’s awake. Then she is tap dancing on my mat. Then she is trying to get on my stomach or back and I can’t do anything! (True story, by the way.)

On top of that, I have body dysmorphia and am a recovering OCD sufferer; recovering not recovered. I have been trying for months to find the exact right fit of Diet and exercise that leaves me feeling healthy, gives me the look that I want and doesn’t cause me to count calories, restrict, or backpedal into my unhealthy relationship with food, weight, my tummy, ass and thighs… you get the point.

So, what is a body dysmorphic, recovering OCD sufferer to do? It is a tough balance and a tough answer.

I decided that the way I was going to have to stay fit (and sane) during the quarantine was to practice Dieting over dieting, planning times for myself and my exercise, staying active, up my self-care game and not to get too caught up in the COVID-19 coverage and have days that I just relaxed; because, you know, when you have the craziness of the world clogging up your headspace, you just need to say “work can wait until tomorrow, I am going to catch a quick episode of Tiger King.”

Dieting vs. dieting

Big D Diet refers to the foods and beverages we consume. It is made up of what we like to eat and don’t like to eat, what we can eat and not eat, and you know, the food pyramid. It is encompassing lifestyle into the equation. Small d diet refers to Keto, Atkins, Paleo, intermittent fasting (in my opinion anyway) and any and all diets where you count calories, count carbs and restrict foods. My therapist warned me not to do any of these or I would likely develop an eating disorder. Now I focus on my Diet (big D) and what my body needs in the way of macros and micros and try to me more intuitive all the way around. I am also beginning to embrace Intuitive Eating more. I will do another post on it, but it is about listening to your body and your hunger, eating when you are hungry and stop eating when you are full. There’s more to it than that, but there you go, the Reader’s Digest version. Another lifestyle practice that worked for me without being too restrictive was carb cycling. I am not an expert and am not going to pretend to break it all down, but basically, you would have low-carb days and higher carb days at intervals throughout the week and I planned it around my workouts. Protein + carbs=muscle gain. Therefore, days that I worked out I would eat more carbs and days I didn’t, I would eat less carbs and more protein and fiber.

Before we go any further, let me give you a laywoman’s quick and dirty guide to macros and micros. If you have ever done a keto or vegan type diet, you can skip this part because you probably already know, but macros are the bigger points of a Diet; the parts you need to survive and forms to fit inside ye olde food pyramid. These are carbohydrates, proteins, fiber and fats. Micros are the smaller, more focused parts of the Diet that encompass vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and all the other goodness that is found in food to nourish your body. I look at it as macros you need pretty much every day that you live but you may only need micros to live, but they are so vast that you may need certain micros at a certain time and others at another. For example, if you feel as though you might be getting sick, you may crave spicy foods or citrus foods because those are foods that contain Vitamin C and zinc that your body can use to boost your immunity; therefore, eat the citrus fruit or spicy foods because your body needs those micros. Later, you might be craving salt because you are dehydrated and salt is an electrolyte, or chocolate because it has a by-product of iron that you need when Aunt Flo is visiting, and let’s face it, chocolate tastes better than chicken liver.

Here are some general guidelines that I follow. I try to get at least 3 macros and some micros in at breakfast and lunch and then dinner mainly consists of protein and a green vegetable. I am more active in the morning and afternoon, so this structure works for me personally. If I am having pasta, I try to add as much protein as possible because, let’s face it, I have no portion control when it comes to pasta; but I typically don’t eat quite as much if I fill it with protein, or at the very least, I will be too full to snack or have dessert. *

*I am not saying this is necessarily sage advice, but I am not going to lie to you. This is what I do to balance life and my favorite foods because without them, life isn’t really worth living.

For example, a typical day looks something like this:

7:30am- low sugar or homemade oatmeal with an apple and peanut butter, I usually throw in some nuts as well. Oatmeal and apples are both great for low glycemic index carbs and fiber and the nuts or nut butter add some protein. 

10:00am- protein bar, usually Vital Proteins or RX Bar brands

12:00- a salad, this particular day that I recorded the salad was from Chick Fil A and included romaine lettuce, grilled chicken, corn and black bean salsa, tortilla strips, pumpkin seeds and chipotle Ranch.

2:30-3:00- hot tea and 2 small pieces of peppermint bark

5:30- baked salmon and roasted broccoli

This is a fairly typical day except I will usually make my soups or salads at home unless I am out and about. I allow myself at least one cup of hot chocolate or ice cream a week if I want it (that dairy though), 1 small splurge a day (hello, peppermint bark) and 1-2 cups of coffee. (See my blog post titled “Caffeine Diaries” for more info.) I usually don’t eat anything after dinner, but, if I am hungry or it is a special occasion, so be it.

It is hard to meal plan for carb cycling with a family of four. It is even more difficult during a quarantine. Sometimes, I go to the grocery store with the best intentions but they are out of almost everything that I need, so I have to re-plan on the spot and it doesn’t really work well for me when I look over and see frozen pizzas. Just saying. Or sometimes they will literally be sold out of almost all meat except fish and you get sick of eating it 5 days in a row, or the vegetables look puny and picked through except the Brussels sprouts which I personally love, but no one else in my house will eat them.

Now, I am at a point where I try to have 2 healthy meals a day, at least one healthy snack and the other meal or snack is what it is. I am not driving around to three different grocery stores during a pandemic. I pay attention to macros and micros, but I can’t really control them, so I just try to stay mindful but not get bogged down in all the details. I want to maintain decent nutrition but realize that these times call for decency but not perfection. I am not going to drive myself crazy trying to eat like Gisele and Tom Brady during all this. It is not going to make anything better.

Plan Exercise and Make It a Priority

I had a really good schedule before the pandemic and subsequent quarantine, but that was back when my kids were still in school or I could get a babysitter.

Three to four days a week I would drop them off at preschool or leave them home with Brian and I would go knock out a 45 minute or hour session of weight training, cycling, HIIT or Tabata.

Now, I try and get a walk or three in everyday, a bike ride, and take 10 or 15 minutes here or there to do a workout. Almost every trainer has home workouts on YouTube or their website now and I have a few workout DVDs, so it isn’t that I am stumped on what to do, I am just having a hard time actually doing it. Normally, I have to wake up a few minutes earlier than I normally do for work (which is still earlier than everyone else) and do a quick 10-minute workout. If I have the time and energy, I may do another 10 minute one if the kids attempt to nap. That one is usually a big if. A capital I If.

It doesn’t happen every day. There are some days that I prioritize relaxation over a workout. More on that in a minute. 

Yet, it is so important to my health and sanity that I make time when I can. It doesn’t look like it used to, but again, these times call for decency, not perfection. I will get back to my old routine or a new gym routine when I can.

Relaxation Situation

I step up my relaxation and self-care game during this time. If I start to feel too panicked, I am going to overeat or skip workouts or over exercise to the point of obsession. That is how my situation is set up. Yet, everyone needs a good balance between relaxation and stimulation.

It may take you a while to get to this place, but I do a check-in with myself every morning and see how I am feeling physically, spiritually and emotionally. What do I need more of/less of, what do I absolutely have to get accomplished that day, what would be nice but not mandatory? If I find that I am super busy that day with work or the kids, then that becomes my top priority, then exercise. If I feel my faith dwindling, which tends to happen during times of fear and uncertainty, I prioritize prayer and relaxing. If I wake up feeling grouchy I have to assess why I am grouchy. If I am grouchy because I am exhausted, burnt out or overly stressed to the point of panic, I relax. If I am grouchy because I have a lot of pent up energy or just a plain old bad mood, I will prioritize exercise.

This may seem silly, but this is not second nature for me. I am so used to having a carefully crafted routine that I flow with unless there is an absolute emergency, that it has been hard for me to learn to prioritize. When I was strictly staying home with the kids, I was used to putting their needs and wants first. I still put their needs first, but sometimes, their wants go on the backburner if it doesn’t seem like something I can feasibly juggle within my work/life balance schedule that I have haphazardly pieced together as of late. And let’s face it, their basic want of playing on the playground or Chick Fil A play place is not possible right now. We all have to face it. I think we patronize children by not being upfront with them about what is happening in the world around us. If we aren’t living our lives as we normally do, they can sense it and deserve an age-appropriate explanation. But I digress.

I combat stress by doing light activities such as reading a not-too-heavy book, watching a comedic movie or TV show, talking to Brian or a friend, giving myself spa treatments and drinking hot beverages or the occasional glass of wine.

What do you do to relax?

Stay Well,

Megan